I am sure my kids won't age.

I know I will be like this.

Tonight was family movie night.  We watched Hotel Transylvania and it was pretty good, but a little scary in parts for Grace and Jax.  Just startling parts where something pops out of somewhere you don't expect and jazz like that. PG movies are a little different than G.

Anyway, the whole story is essentially about how Dracula has this hotel for monsters so they can get away from humans and accidentally a human kid, (young adult) who is backpacking around the world ends up at the hotel.  Dracula does everything he can to get rid of the kid, hilarity ensues and all types of things happen so he doesn't leave.  Dracula has a daughter and she ends up being smitten by this young human that she doesn't know is a human because Dracula has disguised him as a cousin of Frankenstein.  Of course she finds out that he is human, but in the end, love knows no bounds and they are together.  Ahhhhh, happy times.

What the crap does that have to do with the Subaru commercial?  Well, Dracula has to let his daughter go at some point and he has a hard time coming to terms with that and I am pretty sure that I will go through the same thing.  When I was tucking in Grace, we were talking about how someday she would become 18 and 20, and how that is weird to me because I thought I would always see her as my little girl.  I don't know if I am just tired or what, but the thought of her leaving at some point brings tears to my eyes.  Not because I am not excited for her future, but because she will always be my girl.  I'll tell you what, the first guy that comes around this joint interested in Grace will be welcomed in, but when the moment is right, (meaning Grace is out of earshot) I'm going to take that little sucker aside and be sure to remind him that, "If you do anything to hurt my daughter I will kill you."  "I. Will. Destroy. You."  Then I will smile and wave as they leave on their date, with the assurance that I have put the fear of God in that boy.

Grace will always be my little girl.  Soph will always be my little girl.  Jax will always be my boy.  As they grow up, learning how best to be a parent to them is complicated.  You don't realize how crazy your own growing up must have been to your parents until you see your own kids grow up. I have been looking through some of Krista's writings lately as I try and write this book about my thoughts about marriage and kids and grief and other stuff.  I wanted to share what Krista wrote about parenting that I  find very meaningful.

     "It’s an hour past her bedtime already but our three year old daughter is having none of it.  She recently became the, “I need to go the bathroom...another glass of water...my blankets on...my blankets off... where’s my teddy?” child.    This routine is relatively new for us.  Jared and I have reluctantly adapted by taking turns making the weary trek down the hallway.  This evening Gracie is in rare form.  She has already been to the bathroom twice; say, “No” to that request and I’ve guaranteed myself another load of laundry as a result of a 3:00am wet-bed, wake-up call. She has interchangeably insisted she is too hot, too cold, itchy, achy, and lonely.  She sounds a little like she’s entertaining some far-off relations of the seven dwarves.  Jared has just re-joined me in bed after journeying back from his fourth trip to Gracie’s room.  We simultaneously let out sighs of exhaustion when we hear Gracie call for us...again.  

     Jared turns to me and asks with exasperation, “What do we do?”  At that same moment, her call becomes a little softer, “Daddy, will you rock me like a baby?”  We look at each other, and I open my mouth to speak but he is already rising from the bed.  How many more years will she make that simple request?  One, two, five?  I smile and my heart fills with a surge of love as I watch my husband, all 6’5”, 245lbs of him, wipe away a tear and choke out the words, “I’m coming baby.”
     
     Most any parenting books will tell you that Jared’s response to our daughters’ plea was incorrect on many levels. For starters, we should have been firm and denied her a second sip of water or another song.  And of course we should have refused to venture down the hallway to her room multiple times no matter how insistent or loud her cries became.  Our approach to our daughter differs vastly from our approach to our firstborn son.  
     
     When we first brought Jaxon home from the hospital we cradled a parenting book in one arm and him in the other for the first six weeks of his life. We were so terrified of “damaging” him that we consulted complete strangers for advice on everything from how many minutes he “should” be nursing, to how long he “should” be awake, to how old he “should” be when he starts sleeping through the night.  We didn’t dare to trust our instincts about this tiny creature we had helped create; who were we to know?  Fortunately, with the wisdom that comes with maturity and the passing of time we have realised, who are we not to know?  

     We are the parents of our children.  I personally carried each of them for over 275 days.  I felt them kick and turn, hiccup and stretch.  Jared felt tiny feet and knees through the taut skin of my nine-months pregnant belly.  We journeyed through the birth of each of our children side-by-side; joined together in purpose by each contraction and each rapid baby heartbeat. We looked into the limitlessly deep dark eyes of our minutes-old babies and felt immediate and un-surpassing love flood through our veins and take root instantly and eternally. We leaned close to press lips against incomparably soft skin and to breathe in the scent of us; combined and entwined together in these new lives.  Who on earth could possibly know these babies better than us?  Who on earth could possibly be better equipped ?  The answer is simple.  No one."

     As parents know, parenting is the act of teaching your kids how to be independent while simultaneously training yourself to let them go.  Obviously they will always be my kids, just as I am to my parents.  Some people reading this may have not experienced a positive home life.  I hope that when you have your own kids that you can see the things that you want to change and not have them affect you.  Parenting is hard, but I hope that as I see my kids grow up that I can parent them the way they need.  Obviously I'm thinking about the fact that I should have had Krista here to be part of the team of "Who on earth could be better equipped".  I lament the fact that I we can't do this together.  Although I think Krista is right about her and I being the best to know these babies, there is also a community of people around who are part of the team, and that is an encouraging thought.  I know that what Krista really meant to do with this passage is to empower parents to understand that they should trust their instincts with their kids.  There is only so much reading and learning and comparing with other families that a parent should do.  You are equipped. You can do it.  You can make decisions that have the best interests of your kid.  Be confident.

Those of you who aren't parents who read up to here, thanks for reading. I don't know why you kept reading because I don't have any lick of an idea as to how this would apply to you but I appreciate your hanging out with these words for a little bit.  

I hope you all have a grand 'ol night.