Mo Isom, Sophie's Birthday, August 30th

If you don't know the story of Mo Isom you should.  Here are a couple of links to her story.

Grantland Story

Mo Isom's Testimony

I have been thinking about this story for the past week.  I pray for this girl.  I am sucked in by her story because of how similar her feelings of God being with her in the darkest moments are to how I felt immediately after Krista's death.

The story has an anticlimactic ending.  She recently was cut from the LSU men's football team and her dream of playing football after 18 months of hard work is over.  Her story probably would (still may be) have been made into a movie someday if she had made the team.  A classic sports movie.  Beautiful girl wrestles with inner demons and against incredible trauma, has success on the soccer field then keeps working and becomes only the second woman ever to play a role on a Division I football team. One of the best programs in the country. Cue the slow mo shot of field goal winning the big game or something...USA! USA! USA!

But...She did not succeed in making the team.  Obviously I don't know Mo Isom.  I sent her a message on Twitter because I would love her to talk to the kids in my Biology 20 class when we get to the digestive system about eating disorders and all the turmoil that comes with them.  I was hoping that it would inspire students in my class to never delve into those methods to lose weight.  If they were in that spot I hope that it would give girls the confidence to address their issues if they saw someone like her who had defeated it.  She wrote me back and said to "Keep in touch!" on it.  That is my only interaction with Mo Isom.

I don't know her.  I only know her story.  I wonder if not making the LSU Football team is one of the only things she has not accomplished in her life.  She seems like someone who, when they put their mind to something, almost always succeeds.  She has put out some Tweets where she makes no bones about the fact that she is devastated, but is going to keep her head up.  I am praying that she does.  After you work so hard at something and find yourself at a place you didn't expect, it's hard to move to the next phase. Really hard.

I just hosted a big 3rd birthday party for Sophie today.  For the rest of her life her birthday will fall 4 days before the anniversary of her mother's death and the magnitude of that is not lost on me.  It could be SO negative for her.  I want to do my best to separate all the positive things about this time of year with the horrible anniversary of Krista's death.  We have integrated her party and a 'Welcome Back to School/Fall" party the past 3 years.  I have always thought that the days surrounding the beginning of school should be a fun time anyway.  Sorry, I am a teacher, I love my job, and I am excited when school starts again!  (Some of you may not feel the same...) I want it to be a happy time for Jaxon, Grace, Sophie and I.  I need to acknowledge August 30th, because not doing that would be like trying to keep a secret, but it will not be the priority this time of year.  I don't want to emphasize the negative, and I know for a fact that if Krista would not want me too either.  She would be BITTER if she knew that the anniversary of her death, was taking away from our life.  Still this time of year leaves me a bit frazzled because of the reminder of loss it brings.  It just brings up a whole bunch of questions.  The main one being, "How are you going to handle this situation that has been handed to you Jared?" 

Fall is like New Year's for teachers.  I feel like it's a time to renew my life mission statement or something.  That sounds pretty cheesy but you know what I mean.  I just haven't known where I wanted my mission focus to be.  In the past few days I had a great talk with my sister, sister-in-law, and read the story on Mo Isom.  They all impacted me in different ways.

My sister:  Our talk was about how we can choose to make small numbers of goals that we want to work towards.  To not overwhelm ourselves and not compare ourselves to others.  To be able to have confidence to move forward and not look back or side to side as we go from day to day living our lives.  To live in the present.

My sister-in-law:  Jill was never really involved much in team sports growing up, and until recently had not felt a confidence in herself in anything athletic until she started running seriously and doing things like yoga.  She really LOVES individual stuff because she felt like if she was on a team that she may let other players down if she messed up, and this stressed her out.  Individual stuff is on her and she loves that she is reaching something on her own, its HERS.  I have always loved team sport because I loved reaching a goal and sharing it with others who have worked hard like me.  I have NEVER really loved individual things.  I suppose because I don't like to fail, and if I fail alone, it's all on me. I have worked to perform my role in a team and I love working with others, but I realized I need to reach out and challenge myself individually and not fear failure.

Mo Isom  - is a very open Christian and that is one of the things that I appreciate the most.  Her faith is real to her, and she speaks it out.  I am a follower of Jesus Christ, and some of you may find that conservative, and old school, and irrelevant in today's society.  I just have always felt that there is more to this place than the physical.  If you have read my blog before, you know this about me.  I was reminded in Mo's story (I hope she doesn't mind me calling her by her first name like we are long time pals (likely she will never read this anyway however)) about how important my faith is to me.  I have let that take a bit of a back burner in my life for a bit here and I didn't like it, but didn't do anything about it.  Her story was and is an encouragement to me.  Her drive is an example to me.  To not have any regrets about working hard.  In her case, the work she did was not successful from the perspective of making the team.  She had a tweet that said, "It's hard to work 18 months for a “no”,but I know God has HUGE things in store. Depending on Him."  I hope she knows that HUGE things can be the impact she has on people, just by how she handles this situation.  It doesn't have to be HUGE in the eyes of the world, if her story reaches people where they are and find hope in hearing how someone else handles hardship by leaning on God, then it's huge already.  I appreciate her willingness to share her story out there, and I hope there are people around her to help ground her in whatever is in the next season of her life.

So here are three things I am going to focus on for the fall.

1.  Set two life mission statementesque goals that are individual to me.

2. Understand that my life is no one else's life and be o.k with that.  Have confidence in myself.

3. Appreciate God in myself, in others, and seize opportunities to share the hope I have with others. 

I hope you all have a great fall. Mo, if you happened to randomly read this, I wish you well, I am praying for you as you transition into your next season of life outside of college athletics.  Thanks.