My friends held a party and instead of getting invited guests to bring presents for their daughter, the gift was two toonies. (Toonies for my non-Canadian friends are two dollar coins) One toonie was designated for the birthday girl and one was for a charity of her daughter's choosing. I thought this was a GREAT idea.
I adopted this format for my kid's parties and haven't held a "presents" party yet. I feel like my kids get more than enough, and I never wanted them to associate their birthday with gifts from their friends. I hope that one of the things that my kids learn from this style of party is that it's cool to get gifts but it's cool to share with others as well. In the end, I hope that they look forward to a time of celebration with friends and that the presents are just a small part of the good time. I really don't think they are rattled by not getting presents, this is just what we do. Jaxon and Grace have asked if they can have a "presents" party, but I explain the concept of why we are doing what we do, and there has not been complaining. I buy them a gift I know they will enjoy, I don't just Scrooge them. They just don't get the avalanche of presents from buddies.
On another note, when my friends have had these types of parties for their kids, I appreciate not having to dish out another $10-$20 for another present for yet another party.
I understand that some of you may think this two toonie thing is absurd, and that kids getting presents is a rite of passage. Maybe you feel like I'm robbing my kids of their childhood. I don't agree.
Kids know what you teach them. Yes they learn from friends and observing society around them, and from other influential adults, but I think that in those young years they still compare what they see in the world to how you live. To your example. What you emphasize as a parent plays a HUGE role in how kids filter the various pressures and influences around them, especially when they are young. (That is such a distressing thought because I know there are so many ways in which I don't show a good example.) Am I saying that you are creating selfish children by hosting a party where they get gifts. No. If I'm being honest though, I do think that it is important to do charity work, volunteer, and sacrifice. As long as I'm being honest, I know that I could do a whole lot more of it.
I read a book called "Radical" by David Platt, and it really, REALLY challenged me. It is a Christian book, so if you aren't into that you may find it preachy. Heck, even if you call yourself a Christian, you will likely find it preachy. It really got me thinking and made me realized that I hadn't really been involved in helping people who are down and out other than donating money. I hadn't really felt so convicted about this before. I then thought, if my kids are exposed to the homeless, to the down and out, and are taught ways to open their heart to help, this would just be "what we do", and they wouldn't have to have the epiphany that I had. It would already be part of them. The kids and I were making sandwiches for the homeless shelter about once every two months, but I have slowly let this slide. Our family is busy, just like many of your families, or just like you (if you are single). I just realized as I write this that I need to step back up to the plate with this commitment. I hope I haven't sounded preachy, because I am realizing the same things about myself when I write a blog post.
So it's not all about presents. I understand that there are many people out there that come from all kinds of different socioeconomic situations. There are probably a ton of different ways that parents do parties and to give, I just thought I would share the way we do it. Share and also remind myself not to get lazy in this area. Few things annoy me more than spoiled punks. I don't want my kids to be like that, and I don't want to become one either...
