A Hand On The Butt

A hand on the butt.

Oh man, today I saw one of the funniest, not uncommon sights at our high school.  I am quite certain that our school is not an anomaly in this regard.

I was walking through the halls back to my classroom after lunch and I look at a couple wandering together.  The young couple in love was probably in grade 9 or possibly grade 10.  One of the grades where the girls are still generally taller than the guys.  Yah, I'd say grade 9.  She of course is wearing super tight legging type pants.  I know there is an issue with girls wearing these types of pants at a high school in Illinois right now but trust me, that's not what this post is about.  I only mention it because they, along with the short tight shirt she had on made it all the more easy to see this hilarious sight.  This post is about the comedy regarding high school dating behaviour and the real issue that I hope I can teach my daughters and my son to think twice about.

When I observed this couple walking away from me down the hall I found it hilarious that the kid had his arm wrapped around his girlfriend and his hand planted nicely on her butt cheek.  The little guy was on the left and his girlfriend (who was likely 9 inches taller) was on the right.  The hand wasn't in a full clasp.  It was more in a 'I'm not sure if I am going to get away with this or not with her, but I am going to go for it so I am going to use a fairly flat hand and use fairly minimal pressure and see what happens' type move.  Well he was succeeding. Down the hall they walked, not hand in hand, but hand on butt.

This is hilarious to me because if you are a guy and have had a girlfriend you have tried to put your hand on their butt in a public place sort of like this too.  Maybe not as brazenly as this kid, but you have tried it.

It's hilarious to me because if you are a girl and had a boyfriend you have had this tried on you.  Maybe not so publicly but your boyfriend tried it.  Maybe on a walk in the park a little into the relationship or in a 'not so populated' hallway at school.  Maybe you let him, maybe you didn't.

Look, I know kids do a lot more stuff that just a 'hand on butt', I do.  Yes kids have sex at young ages, but not everyone.  If you are a student reading this, then you need to remember that statistically, even if 50% of kids have had sex by grade 12, (a high estimate by the way) that means that 50% haven't.  So don't ever believe that you are the only one choosing to wait.  If you aren't going to wait, then for goodness sake, know what you are getting into.  I've written about this before here. 

Hear's what I'm getting at here.  This guy was walking down the hall with this girl who was freely letting him demonstrate this relationship by this overt display of PDA.  I hope that if some guy tried that move on my daughter someday that she would realize the ridiculousness of it.  I think classy girls won’t let this happen.  A woman who respects herself wouldn’t let a guy just butt grab while walking down the hallway of a public place the whole way down the hall.  Probably not a good indication of a soul mate there.

I’m not trying to get overly serious, but I don’t know too many women at ANY AGE who actually like to be PDA’d in public.  I'm not talking about basic stuff.  A kiss or hug or caress here or there, those things are o.k.  However, every woman that I respect, when I watch them interact with their significant other in public, feels awkward and embarrassed when that guy makes dirty jokes or inappropriate PDA attempts that put them as a couple on display. 

Guys are idiots this way, we always think it might turn funny or that they may actually think it amusing, or even enjoy it.  Maybe enough to let us do it again!  Listen, it works out that way about 1% of the time.  The other times you are sending a message that she is a bit of an object and no woman is attracted to a man who sends that message.  Now different couples are different in their magnitude of acceptability of these types of things but I think that in general, women would appreciate knowing that you like/love them for the 99% or the other stuff about them that rule, and not just the parts that you find attractive physically.  How do I know?  Well let’s just say I know because just possibly Krista was annoyed with my high school boy idiocy at times. J

Some of you may be thinking, “Wow, Jared’s getting pretty intense about a little butt grab!”  (Hahahaha, never thought I would write that sentence in my life.)  What I’m trying to say is this.  Ladies, if you are looking to see how a man is going to treat you as an important part of their lives, pay attention to how he wants to treat you regarding physical affection. Please REMEMBER, you don’t have to let some young punk put his hands on you just because you like him, and are so happy that he is attracted to YOU.  "Me? I am so happy that you like ME?!"  You need to be honest about what you think is acceptable, and work this out as a couple.  If something is uncomfortable for you, tell the guy and if he doesn’t get the message, drop him because he is disrespectful and needs to learn some manners.  IF he doesn't understand this, I know some mobsters that can send him a message…

Guys, a woman is a precious thing, and she is also awesomely beautiful and is also probably pretty hot to you.  If you really want to treat her well, then think about this.  If you feel like you probably shouldn’t try something, because maybe she might be embarrassed or appreciate your move, then you should probably not try it.  Don’t give in to the, “Well maybe she will think this is alright, well, at least I hope she does, I’m just going to do it  BECAUSE I CAN’T HELP MYSELF!” thoughts.  If you do and she doesn't appreciate it, then she’s bitter and offended and then you have to go to extra lengths to show her that she is more important to you than just her physical presence.  Look, I know YOU know she's more important, but she is constantly questioning it and sometimes herself. This is women. The other side of this is if you actually just want her for is her physical body, in which case I know some mobsters that I am going to send your way because you are a tool…

So to sum up:

1. A hand on the butt walking down the hall means more than just a hand on the butt.  It is a display of PDA that shows more about the true condition of the relationship than just this little act.

2. Girls, don’t let guys do this to you.

3. Guys, resist the urge to do this to the one you care about.

4. If you really have to do this, please stop doing it at school, it makes all of us teachers feel awkward. (That and your making out in the corners or outside your classes. Not the little goodbye kisses, the nasty stuff.  Just imagine if you saw your teachers with their significant others just making out in the hall, would you like that.  Yah that’s how it is for us with you.)  Just stop it please.