Santa - To tell, or not to tell, that is the blogpost...

     When I was a kid, I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t put up the charade that Santa existed.  I remember being at a preschool or something like that when a Santa guy came in and gave each of us kids a present, and I was pumped because it was a sweet yellow race car with sweet yellow rims.  It was sweet.  It seems to me that as I think about it now, that I was a little skeptical that it was a legit Santa, but never said anything.  In fact, I’m going to phone my mom right now and ask her...

(5 minutes later)

... So the reason why I was a bit skeptical is because right from the start my parents told me there was no Santa (just got the info from my mom).  We were never told or sold the story of a fat guy in a red suit (which makes no sense because we all know that if you are overweight that you should have a black suit, because it's slimming...) who magically comes down a chimney with gifts, eats your food, and then breaks into your next door neighbour’s house version of Santa.  The idea is so weird.  Nowadays, if you were trying to make up a story that you wanted to become tradition, a man coming into your house while you were sleeping, creeping around and leaving packages in exchange for cookies and milk, would be a bad place to start.  It's flat out creepy. 

My mom and dad told my sister and I all about St. Nicholas, and the whole history aspect of it, and the tradition but never fooled us into believing the gift giving to every good child version.  

“That's terrible!” Some of you are saying.  "That's exactly how my family did it.", others of you are saying.  It's actually a pretty polarizing (hehe, that's a pun of sorts because of the North Pole and all...) topic.  I always discuss it with my classes when it starts getting close to Christmas.  I ask them how many of them were told that there was a Santa, and believed it.  Probably about 3/4 of the class is like that on average. Then I ask them, "How many of you were devastated when you found out that he did not exist?" Probably about a quarter of those say that they were rattled to the point of tears when they found out.  I always then ask, "How many of you are going to tell your kids that Santa is real?", and I am always amazed when most of the kids who got hurt the most let me know that they are going to tell their kids about Santa.

They are knowingly going to do something to their kids that they distinctly, and clearly remember as being a terrible moment in their life. "But, the good outweighs the bad. The magic of Christmas!  I want my kids to experience that.  I will love the look on their face when they are so excited that Santa has brought them a present." That's what those kids and other parents I know who are part of  "Team Santa" say, when I ask them why they would do that to their kids.  I guess the look on the face would be pretty priceless.  Imagination coming true is a pretty cool thing to allow a kid to have.

I am pretty sure that you can tell that I am not on "Team Santa".  Krista and I agreed long ago that we wouldn't tell our kids that he was real because we just didn't feel right about it.  I just didn't want to start out the early years of my kids lives by lying to them about where their presents were coming from.  I know that some people do stockings from Santa and some people do presents from Santa, but we both decided to not do anything from Santa to our kids because we didn't want to tell them something that was 100% not true.  I don't ever, EVER, remember being cheated because I received presents from my parents instead of a mysterious obese man.  My mom used to make scavenger hunts for my sister and I to rip around the house to find our presents, and when we got older we actually had to follow clues and drive around to get them.  (that ruled)  

Our kids have a blast when they get to Christmas morning.  They are happy to receive presents.  It's a great time. I have had many conversations with my kids about NOT telling other kids that there is no Santa.  It's not their job to tell other kids.  If another kid asks them a direct question about it, I tell them to tell that kid that they don't believe in Santa, but to leave it at that.  It is the job of that kid's parents to tell them the ins and outs of that truth when the time is right for their family.  The thing is, even if Jaxon mentioned in conversation why he didn't believe in Santa, namely because it's 100% not true, should the parents of that other kid even be mad?  Do they have a right to be mad about my son discussing the truth with someone?  I vote No.  If you are going to keep the facade of Santa going into the school years then you are playing with fire.  If your kid comes home devastated because someone told them that Santa didn't exist, then I think that's your fault as a parent for setting your kid up like that.  (Man, I really sound like I'm getting worked up here, and, I suppose I am.)  I hope Jaxon, Grace and Soph aren't the bearers of bad news for your kids, but if they are being asked directly, I won't tell them to lie just to save some kid's feelings.  I will always tell them to tread lightly on this topic with their friends because it isn't their job to go and tell everyone who doesn't believe.  That's just being a jerk.  But I will not tell them to avoid a direct question because that compromises their ability to learn what integrity is.  I think we would all like our kids to stand up for what is true and right.  Some people would argue that "truth" is different to different people, with regards to religious beliefs and stuff like that.  I understand your argument with that stuff, but NOT about something as false as Santa.  If I make my kids second guess themselves about something like that, I am setting a double standard early.  "Tell the truth about this, but not about that..." is kind of what I am saying.  I don't ever want them to be confused about when to tell the truth when it is being asked of them.

That all sounds rather serious and hardcore, but I guess that's the way I am on this issue.  Anyway, I know some of you will think I am a Scrooge for this stance on this subject.  Some of you will agree with me.  At any rate, here is a video by C.G.P. Grey that talks about where the North American version of Santa comes from.  If you are talking to your kids about it, it's pretty interesting. 

Here is another video of a Christmas tradition in Austria called Krampus. It's crazy.

I realized I just ranted.  Goodnight now.  Merry Christmas.